A Letter to My 13-year old Self

Sharayu Vyavahare
SYBCOM-F

Dear Sharayu,

I think I should start with a 'hope this letter finds you in the pink of health', but then I know how pink you are, so let us get done with the formalities. This time of the year, with the new school just begun, you must have started making friends by now. Struggling between maintaining a strong bond with your friends from the earlier school and trying to forge new bonds here, it is difficult I understand, but just to make you feel better, things sorted themselves, just like people do. If I am not wrong, by now you must have had your very first punishment in the new school, barely within 2 months of starting. I know you laughed then, but guess what, you will laugh over it in the future as well.

It is odd, this writing a letter, especially to you, because 13th year started the worst of the issues that happened in our life. The problems at home, the problems at school, at other places, it all just escalated abruptly. There are so many things I can tell you about, events to look forward to, situations to beware, people to avoid, decisions to reconsider, but I don't think I will. Not preaching that 'it won't kill you, it will just make you stronger', I just want you to figure things out the way you will. Go with that instinct and know that it is ok to make mistakes, it is ok to not be perfect. Nobody will hang you for a notebook with scribbled sentences and wrong sums, you don't have to tear pages for it. Also, you are great the way you are. You are one talented girl and it is ok if you don't fit certain people's criteria of beautiful or ideal. You might feel insecure and lonely traversing through this new world, but that is just another part of the journey. You goof up and then you learn from it, so that you make new mistakes and learn more. You don't have to compromise yourself to fit in someone else's perception of fantastic. Always remember that if the world is looking for squares and you turn out to be a triangle, don't feel bad about not being enough. You are complete in yourself, the demands of people around you just don't match with your supply. I might sound nerdy, but a few years of economics tend to make a person like that. Well, by the way, you take commerce in the future.

Don't take up hobbies or create interests in things because people around you like those things. You don't have to memorize every One Direction song just because the girls around you do and you want to feel belonged. Listen to only those which feel good to you. You sometimes live in your own world, your own imaginations and you have so many thoughts and ideas that are quite unconventional. You can share it, it's ok. Just because you are scared of judgement, don't stop being you. You are not someone who stays shut enduring whatever life throws your way, and don't start being that. Changing out of it was difficult trust me. If you don't like someone, tell them you will be better without them. Be vocal. Fight for yourself, but remember that there will be people who won't be able to defend themselves and in such a situation stand for them as well. Don't bully people or be mean to them. The girl in your bus is naive and falls prey to your pranks, but that is not something to wear proudly. Nobody gives you the leave to make fun of people. Somebody makes fun of you and you are mean to someone meeker than you, just imagine what a horrible world it will be. I still feel like I owe an apology to all those girls and boys.

There will be days when you feel like you don't want to do this anymore, that you are done living the same stale life, but sweetheart just pause and look around. There will be a time when this life will seem better than the coming years. Treasure your happiness and note the memories, they are even more precious than the chocolates you sneak in the last lecture. Be wise about friends, you will be surprised who lasts with you in the end. Listen to what mumma says about them, as astounding as it is, she was right (as always). Very unexpected things have happened lately. In the coming years you will feel disheartened and you might do something drastic in the wake of it, but remember, there is nothing more important than yourself, and nobody more dear than the people who care for you. Don't take them for granted, they are rare. Remember one life is all you get, make the most of it. Apart from that, if you have problems at home it doesn't make you unworthy to be among other "normal" people. You have no idea how many people do. The more you talk about it, you will feel better. The more you keep it to yourself, it will eat you up. 

All in all, be smart and be kind. Don't let someone walk over you or take advantage of your kindness. If you make mistakes, apologize. Love yourself. Don't quit sports because a guy you liked said you were too dark or stop eating because another said you were fat. And last but not the least (I know I said I will let you figure things out), you will go to Andaman during vacations this year. Please wear better clothes and click better pictures. It is one amazing place and I regret those photos till this day.

Remember I love you in spite of everything,
You-from-future