A Letter to My 13-year old Self

Nidhi Paradkar
SYBCOM-C

Hi Nidhi,

It’s me! As in you… me and you are the same! Hey don’t get anxious (which I know you get very easily, and will continue to be like that for years together) I am your 19 year old self speaking. Relax, don’t overthink this, think of this letter from an elder sister which I know you are in dire need of. I can say that when you read this letter, you will feel like it is from a totally different person rather than your future self, because I am very different from what I used to be. I can’t predict whether this will make you happy or sad, but since I know and still recall you in and out, I think you will be more than happy.

Aren’t you really pleased that you have finally become a teenager! That one particular birthday you were eagerly waiting for so that you could start your teens! You will be wondering by now why my future self is so eager to talk to me! Well I am not going to play the role of a future teller or anything. I am just here to tell you some things I sometimes wish my 13 year old self knew. Like I said, imagine that this letter is from an elder sister, because I know you find it hard to take some advice from people. So here goes… 

First of all, please understand that there is a huge difference between loving yourself and being a narcissist. Therefore, please don’t act careless and become rebellious in the name of loving yourself. The entire idea of loving yourself is being content from within and also sharing love and affection with others.  So please don’t do anything meaningless and shield yourself with self love. You will spend your days feeling upset about a lot of things. Believe me a few years down the line you will laugh at the same things. Most importantly, please look out for yourself. You think the bullying will stop after sometime, you can act like you don’t care what people say about you, you think all you need is yourself and you don’t need people to make you happy, and you probably think you know everything like every other budding teen. Trust me, you may surely regret these things. If you don’t take care of yourself and let people say wrong things about you, it will stop happening eventually but it won’t stop triggering you for years to come.  Those people that you are failing to become friends with and failing to accept the affection of, are the same people you are going to wish you had beside you in tough times. So please let people in and trust them. Help them and let them help you.

Once a teenager begins you outgrow a lot of things. Those things which used to make you laugh as a child are not going to lighten up your mood. You will be so busy with other things that you will miss the sight of those swings, those slides passing you by on the road, where you used to play as a child. Believe me you are going to start missing those times when you were a little kid. Take time off for yourself and revisit them. Those pepsi colas you used to eat in childhood are going to remind you of those summer vacations you had when you were a small kid. Go to parks and watch other kids playing. Maybe you would meet the kid version within you again. Spend some time remembering those carefree days.

Now that you are growing up, everyone around you is going to ask you what is your dream? What are your aspirations? I know you don’t have one right now. You want to do something huge but you don’t know what, don’t know how. All you have is a small spark within you. It is completely okay. Many people don’t know where they are going. You are just an ounce of what the world holds within itself. There are many things to learn, many things to try, many things to study and many places to go to learn what your dreams are. Unless you don’t find where you belong you don’t get to meet your true self, the actual version of you which lives somewhere inside you and hasn’t yet found a door to come out and express itself. Have patience and keep going. Sometimes it takes time to find your place, your world.

Teenagers may suck sometimes. You may feel lost, you may question why you are where you are and you will always compare your life with someone else’s. You will eagerly wait for a world where you will truly find yourself. Well don’t worry and just be firm. There will be a time when you are going to be exactly in a place where you want to be, you are going to meet various people like you and finally going to be where you belong. And despite all this, you are going to miss this time that you are in now. So enjoy these years, dream to be a better version of you, understand it is okay to make mistakes and always try to do your best for later you are going to turn into a girl with dreams in her eyes, with fire in her soul and expectations from herself. And while she will embark on her journey, she will always remember you, the naïve and nervous you who knew so little but had a dream somewhere in her to make something of herself! And when she becomes what she aspires to be, she will picture you in her mind and give you a smile, for you taught her what she deserves and those little sparks should be turned into lights!