A Letter to My 13-year old Self

Archana Balakrishnan
SYBCOM-A

Dear me,

Welcome to the exciting world of teenagers! Sending virtual hugs to you. Another day went by and you didn’t realize how fast it zoomed past you, didn't it? I want you to pause for a minute. Breathe into the smell of the new day, and smile.

How have you been?  It’s okay to say you are not fine. Those little worries of yours shall pass too.

Why did you have to pressurize yourself so much?  The world won’t end if you get a mark less in your weekly test. No, your marks aren’t everything. Few years down the line you aren’t even going to remember these marks. The triumph of defeating the brightest student in class doesn’t even last for a second. Instead bask in the success of your efforts bearing fruits. You are allowed to make mistakes and fall sometimes because you know how to get back up. You have the permission to free yourself from the ropes binding you and just feel how high you soar. Don’t just rely on the school system. Cultivate that beautiful mind of yours. I know you like to play by the rules but you can be yourself more if you break a rule or two. M/s Monitor you can go easy on your classmates sometimes, maybe there’s a probable boon companion seated among them.

No doubt books are your best friends but that girl seated next to you is just as much fun! You will finally find your partner in crime, your confidant. Yeah, she’s your four leaf clover. Hard to find and lucky to have.

I just fell in love with your implicit confidence and obstinacy. The way you stand on stage facing the entire school masking the tiniest bit of nervousness with a bold smile amazes me. Three cheers to your ability to filter out trashy comments.

But I’ll yell out to you once more ‘you are cool even if you don’t put on make-up, don’t dress up or aren’t into one direction.’ Go look into the mirror. Really look at yourself. Beyond the insecurities, beyond everything you think is disgraceful. You are beautiful.  Girls like you don’t happen often so don’t forget how rare you are…

The society was, has and will always be judgmental. People will question all the good things you do and believe in every bad without a second thought. Don’t let this dominate your precious life.

Engage in a hearty conversation with your family during dinner, your TV time can wait. They give you the roots to stand tall and strong. Taste your mom’s delicious and healthy food.  Your life is more than burgers and pizzas.  Your mom may be your best critic but she’s the strongest supporter you’ll find.

Don’t think too much about who you are supposed to be, you are still blooming. Do something you are not ready to do. Isn’t that how you grow?  But physically you stop growing this year, so it’s no use chugging in Complan.

Don’t lock your creative self in. Paint the world lost in your imaginations and let it live in the blank sheets of papers. Express yourself through dance, the hidden language of your soul. Every time you dance you turn into a better version of yourself. Take part in all those debates and elocutions, not to prove your confidence to others but to yourself.

I know how much of a homebody you are, but going out on a few nature trails is a must. You don’t want to regret not going out later on. That Manali trip with your friends after 12^th is never going to happen unfortunately. It’s not because everyone backed out at the last moment. Should I give you a spoiler- it’s because of a country-wide lockdown. A terrible virus will be on the prowl! And the rest you figure out yourself.

Don’t let your big, fat ego eat you up and destroy relationships. Let your magnanimous heart skip that ‘e’ and let it ‘go’. Giving up is not in your blood, sweetheart. Even a flower can bloom in between the frozen cracks. No matter how high you fly, remember to stay humble.

Just as these happy times, you’ll have your fair share of pain. You will lose precious gems along the way, but you’ll enrich yourself with the treasure of memories they leave behind. You will grow stronger with each blow, however hard it might be it can never kill you.  Comparing yourself with others has become a daily routine. Your greed which you consider your weapon is also your doom. Just know that you are the best in your own universe. Be deaf to people who say you can’t do something.

Little dynamite, when you feel all alone and don’t know where to go, peep inside you. You are so much more than you know. You are a champion, a winner, a star drawn with the left hand. You possess the power to be anything you want to be. Don’t give into doubt. You shine the brightest when the sky is dark.  Chin up princess, no Tom, Dick or Harry can drag you down!

I love you.

Yours sincerely,
Your future self.